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4. Introvert

 

This is something I have never openly said publicly : “I am an introvert”. I was ashamed of being an introvert, for nearly five years now. I was terrified of people teasing me publicly, like my friend was, while she sat in the corner all by herself. You know what, now I literally do not care. I was tying to be this person, I was not. And to be honest, I’m still not the real me. I am still trying to make a lot of changes in my life. I know I am not perfect, but when i achieve my ideal self , that is when I will be content with who I am. And that time, I will be the “perfect” me. And for me to achieve the ideal self, I am permitting myself to use up as much time as I need. But, who I was, especially in my 9th, 10th,11th and 12th grade was me trying to fit in and be someone else. I have lied so many times, just to fit in, and one among the many lies I said, the worst lie was, that I have consumed alcohol. The truth is, I have not even attempted to try alcohol. Yes, a few of you would call me “uptight” and ask me to “live a little”. And if you would have told me this two years back, I would have consumed alcohol, just to prove a point, but right now I don’t really care about what you would say. It’s not like somebody is stopping me from trying it out. I just know, it’s not now. Right now, I have to achieve so much in life. My mind is occupied by so many things, that petty things like alcohol and cigarettes, don’t excite me. At least, not yet. Right now, me trying to achieve my ideal self excites me. Music excites me. Books excites me. Dance excites me. Food excites me. Travelling excites me. Writing excites me. Being alone excites me. You have no idea, how many times I wish everybody in my house had gone out, not so that I could call my “imaginary boyfriend” home, but so that I can turn off all the fans and lights and switch the TV and my phone off and just let my thoughts come flashing down. This might be so strange for all of you, but unlike you, I am not afraid to face my thoughts. My thoughts are my best friend. So, you can go ahead and make fun of me. You can go ahead and call me whatever you want. I know what I am doing. And I know that I am doing something, solely because, I want to. And luckily I have three amazing people in my life who would stand by any decision I make. 

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35 thoughts on “4. Introvert

  1. I understand the trying to be someone you are not. Just recently I have stopped caring so much about what people think. I am starting to embrace that I am an introvert and there is nothing wrong with me. Thank you for the thoughtful post, I relate strongly to your words and appreciate them. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s very important to understand that it is absolutely amazing to be the best you can be. And to stop believing each and every thing people say about you. And it is okay to be an introvert. Thank you for your input on my blog, means a lot 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on BUT SHEZ DOPE and commented:

    Follow this brilliant blog, my fellow introverts. It speaks from the vunerability that we bury under our intellect. I rememer having drinks with friends, we were 18years old. They were drinking, I was tossing “sips” behind their sofa, onto the floor😒. This was me for the next 3 or 4years until I said screw human beings and they can help have their opinions, they have nothing to do with me! I freed myself and found my soul! So thank you @realisticbeginner for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank YOU for sharing. This really means a lot. It is indeed true. We do bury our intellect. We are afraid to do so many things because people “may judge” us. I found my soul recently and it changed me completely. The people who knew me in high-school would find a drastic change in my character and thinking. I’m proud of this change. I’m glad you could relate to this.

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  4. I recently read the Wikipedia page on introversion-extroversion. The “regional variation” part suggests America it’s generally an “extroverted society,” socially rewarding extroverts and rejecting introverts, while other societies exhibit the inverse.
    We are forced to embrace confidence in our sense of self, since who we are isn’t generally accepted and those like us are all hiding in a book or out on a bike by ourselves.
    I’m glad you are embracing and hopefully enjoying who you are on your way to who you want to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Due to circumstances in my life, I changed from an extreme extrovert to an introvert – not all at once but over a number of years in which I have had to manage a chronic illness. I don’t want to have to explain myself to people and I truly enjoy being alone and just allowing myself to be me rather than someone who puts on a fake smile and acts like all is OK. I admire your courage to be you and I completely understand the peace you feel in being alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for understanding. It’s important to know who we are as an individual and accept it, rather than being or trying to be someone you are not. And you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to people for who you are.

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    1. Yes it’s quite hard being an introvert. Deep down you have to overcome many fears to show the world who you are as an individual. No, I haven’t read that book. I’ll read it ASAP. Thank you for the recommendation. And also, thank you for your thoughts on this post 🙂

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  6. Introverts are amazing! (An unbiased opinion from a fellow introvert 😉 ) It’s hard to embrace it, but it’s so great when you can. I agree with the recommendation to read the book Quiet, if you haven’t already.

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  7. When I was a teenager, I suffered from being an introvert and wished I could be different. But I could not bring myself to smoke and drink alcohol and be “cool” like the others. Now I am glad that I stuck to my values even though it was hard. There was quiet a bit of bullying, too. Fortunately, over time, I have learned to accept that I am me – and I actually like myself. If I could clone myself, I’d be my own best friend. Wouldn’t that be good? Now I just have to find people who also like me for who I am – but that takes patience, because getting to know an introvert takes more time!

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert. There are more of us out there than the world makes us believe. It’s just that extroverts are so noisy that it’s hard to see other introverts.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “It’s just that extroverts are so noisy that it’s hard to see other introverts.” Beautiful line. You’ve said everything I wanted to convey in this one line. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  8. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a introvert! You should be proud to be a introvert…as introverts think deeper, have bigger imaginations, and are creative. I was ashamed of being the way that I was until I discovered that being introverted is not a choice it is a personality trait…it is how our brain works. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Writers express themselves thru the written word. For me, too much interaction with people and all their attitudes, spirits and such can be distracting. You’re ok. Keep writing and everything will be balanced. I like this blog

    Liked by 1 person

  10. If you haven’t read the following book already, I highly recommend it: “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength” by Laurie Helgoe. Being an introvert (INFJ to be exact), this book gave some good insight and allowed me to embrace rather than question my introversion :).

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