Do you how they say that, “anyone can change your mind if you let them”? So about last night, still struggling with my lack of motivation, I tried to study. I could not concentrate. I closed my book because I knew nothing would go inside my head. I was going over the list of movies I downloaded. And to be fair, I have watched quite a few of them. I don’t know why but I wanted to watch ‘The Spectacular Now’ again for the fourth time.
So, I watched the entire movie yet again, and this time with a more free, open and a ready for inspiration kind of way. To be honest, I could relate to both of them. I could relate to Amy with her innocence of having tried out nothing interesting in her life and her love for books. I could relate to Sutter with his fear of everything. Though Amy was more relatable, Sutter inspired me more. Not with his drinking and his sex-life. But how he realized that he is afraid. And when he realized that, it struck me too. It made me realize that I have been afraid my whole life. Afraid of everything. Afraid of failure. Afraid of success (I know you’ll yell at me by asking how can I possibly be afraid of success, I would like to assure you that I am). Afraid of being kind. Afraid of being rude. Afraid of education. Afraid of getting good marks. Afraid of getting bad marks. Afraid of falling down. Afraid of climbing up. Afraid of what people say/do. Afraid of losing my loved ones. Afraid of being/staying attached to them. Afraid of writing my vulnerabilities out in the open. Afraid of animals. Afraid of humans. Afraid of becoming someone I never want to be. These lines made perfect sense to me : “Compared to other kids, I haven’t had that many hardships… not really. Shit’s… Stuff’s happened, sure, but stuff always happens right? But the real challenge of my life, the real hardship is me. It’s always been me.” It indeed has always been me. I have been born in a very good family. My family, makes perfect sense to me. There is no other family that I’d rather be born in. I haven’t had the need to ask. My family is that understanding. My school life had rather been boring because I never got a good company. I always got backstabbers. But it never really struck me a hardship. No love failure. No drinking problem. No sex-life struggles. No drugs issue. So this proves that the only hardship I’ve ever witnessed in my life is – ME. And I have to overcome this. But I would say that learning and accepting that I have this fear and this problem is a start. But, I would love to do something about it. I need to overcome this. I need to get over this fear, because I know it will lead me, nowhere. Now, this movie may not inspire you or open your mind and make you realize something as it did for me. But. This movie did touch me a lot. I loved this particular line, which says, “To hell with tomorrow. To hell with all problems and barriers. Nothing matters but the Spectacular Now” This line made my day. And I am going to try to implement this in my life. To live in the spectacular ‘now’.
If you have watched this movie, comment below on what you took from it, I would love to read your thoughts. And if you haven’t watched this movie, it’s okay. You can watch it any time. But, do share your thoughts on what you think about my interpretation of this movie. If you can relate to this or not.