Greetings, everyone. I would once again like to announce that we have reached another milestone of four hundred plus follows. Guys, I cannot thank you enough.
I usually post on Sundays, but I learnt something new about myself yesterday that I couldn’t wait to write about. So, today’s post will be on competition. And this time in order for some creative writing, I am not going to speak about typical competition which you’ll often see in an athletic or work or school environment. No, no. Today I am going to introduce competition among best/close friends. If you want to know more of what I am talking about, continue reading.
I have been best-friends with 19 girls in my entire life. None of whom I am still close with. These are the people I have given the “best-friend” status to. A few of them just drifted apart. A few of them I had a huge fight with and we “broke” up. But there are about 6 girls among these 19 girls, they tried to compete with me. As in literally compete with me.
I am not boasting, but these girls, they made sure they go to the ends of the earth to “imitate” me. Now, what do I mean by imitate? By imitate I mean, copy. Everything I do, they wanted to do. Everything I bought, they had to buy it. If not, something better than what I bought. Something as insignificant as a donut. True story – My mother got home a donut for me when she had gone out with her friends. ( I am NOT BOASTING), this ex-best friend of mine purchased a donut for herself the NEXT HOUR.
And I know what you are thinking. “Yashna, it can be a co-incidence, don’t over think this.” And to you I say how many times does it take, for you to believe that it is not a co-incidence? 10 times? 15 times? I can name at least 30 incidents when these six people (each) have done something I have done, within the next three days. And I can tell this which such authority because all these six people have told me to my face, “I wanted to buy (the said thing) because you have bought it.” So, I can assure you that it is not a bloody co-incidence.
And it is not just these six ex-best-friends. There are many numerous people who have tried to imitate me, but they did not affect me that much, as much as what these six girls did. Maybe because I wasn’t expecting them to do this. And I would have expected strangers to do it anyway. And the fact that they did it made me more anxious and irritated and it still baffles me as to why they did it.
I have asked myself one question so many times. And that is, why does this affect my so much? And to be brutally candid, I have no idea. Competition is good. And I love a good competition. But in meaningful subjects. Not stupid things as buying the same book/phone/iPod like me. (In the most humble way, I say the next sentence) Maybe they want to be more like me. They like me, so they want to be more like me. Then it is fine. But what happens when them “wanting to be more like me” affects me? Then it’s not good. I still cannot seem to find out why this affects me this much.
There are some individuals who like it when people ‘copy’ them. I don’t seem to like it when people do that to me. I am not going to lie. I copy others. Mostly celebrities. I try to be more like “Joe Sugg – the carefree/funny human” or “Lilly Singh – the hustler” or “Leonardo Di Caprio – the best actor”. I don’t know how they feel when people like me try to be like them. But one thing is I try to replicate their good qualities. And people who try to imitate me, they don’t imitate my good qualities, instead they imitate some insignificant things I do and buy.
Maybe I feel threatened by them. Maybe they’ll beat me and become better at what ever they copied from me. I stopped doing whatever I was good at, in the fear of being “copied”. I stopped studying hard. Maybe they’ll beat me and get better grades than me? I stopped being interested in photography. What if they click better pictures? I stopped dancing. What if they become better dancers? And that was the most stupid thing I have ever done in my entire bloody life. I lived the last 10 years in this fear. And I realized what I had done, last night.
And now, I don’t know where to go from here. At least I realized it before it was too late. Because it is never too late.
Have you ever faced this type of competition? If yes, what did you do to let go of feeling disgusted? Have you faced the “What if they become better at what I am known for?” fear? If yes, what did you do to over come it and please do give me tips. In general, what did you think of this post? What do you think I should do, irrespective of whether you’ve witnessed or faced such a situation. Please post your thoughts below. I am genuinely inquisitive.
Hope you have a great day. Hope you have a wonderful week ahead. Happy Reading.
See you, next post.