9. Comfortable

Dear readers,

Though, I am in a dilemma half of the time, there is one thing I know that is certain. Which is, I am comfortable. I am comfortable with how I look, with the way I dress, the way I am. Obviously, this doesn’t mean that I would stop here and stop trying to better myself. I’ll always try to find something to chase and always try to better myself. But, now, today, this moment, I love who I am.

People are constantly baffled when I say that I don’t wear make-up. Some of them assume that I hate make-up. Hating make-up everyday is something that is not on the list of things that I need to do. I just don’t wear it. This also doesn’t mean that I hate people who wear makeup. I love the way people come up with different ways to express themselves through make-up. And to answer a question I always get asked, no, I don’t know the difference between a concealer and a foundation 😛 And, yes, even on the days when my face is not clear, I choose not to wear make-up. Doesn’t that hurt? To be honest, it’s not a big deal when I say that I don’t wear make-up.

People think that I am ashamed of my body or I have a big patch or some scar that I cover, because I usually wear clothes that aren’t too revealing. Again, it’s not a conscious effort to cover my entire body. And no, I’m not doing this to make boys wonder how my body looks. I wear the clothes I wear because I feel good and confident wearing it. Simple as that. I am not careless when I just put on jeans and a top with crocs, or when I repeat the same clothes twice in a week or when I wear jeans for more than four times without washing it. I’m not careless, it just doesn’t matter enough.

I am not saying that my way is the way to be. You do whatever you want to. Wear the clothes you want. If you love singing, then sing. If you love dancing, then dance. If you want to wear make up, then wear it. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. Do the things you want to and solely because you want to. That’s what I do. I know it that, if it comes down to it, I would fight my family and friends and teachers and employers, if they make me do the things I don’t want to do. Call me stubborn or careless. Doesn’t matter. I’ll only do the things I want to do.

I love who I am. I love everything about myself. Even the idiosyncrasies. I won’t change for anyone. People often mistake my want for more in a negative manner or think that I am selfish, and think that I want more because I don’t love who I am. I love who I am. But I still want to be a better version of myself which I know I can be. Love who you are. And be proud of who you are. See you all, next Sunday.

Realistic Beginner.


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